So today I close another chapter in the book of my now non married life; I say a final farewell to a special four legged friend who was never my girl, but my exes.
2 years today, we had PTS (put to sleep) his (my ex husband) stunning Welsh D x mare; Branwen.
From the minute we met her, it was love at first sight for him and her- an instant bond that stayed true until the end.
She was a BIG horse; big for a mare and she had the big character to go with it. We bought her knowing she was ‘broken’ (on going lameness issues) but I collected broken things (my ex, my horse, my friends) and so figured we could ‘fix’ her with time.
She adored her human (my ex) and the feeling was mutual, me and her had a mutual respect for each other but nothing like the bond they had.
When she died; I believe a part of my husband died with her, he never properly grieved for her and she was never really talked about again. She just stopped existing in our world. It wasn’t under the happiest and best circumstance’s that we said goodbye.
She was the final common link me and my ex had, when we stopped having horses; we stopped having a reason to be together and interact on the same level. I had her name, with a feather curved round it (her name was welsh for black or beautiful raven) , tattooed on my left shoulder in an effort to reach out to my ex; to get him to unlock and release some of the pain and grief he carried over her loss, to show him her memory would always be with us, but this yielded no result.
Now our marriage is over, this is the last time I shall remember her; she was never mine but always his girl, and i’m going to have the tattoo covered over- another scar to be hidden, another memory to be buried.
I have no regrets, but mine and her story now needs to be left in the past.